So you’ve found a special someone, you’ve been dating for a while, things went well and you guys decided on taking it to the next level. Now what?
You see, I’ve been in four relationships for the past nine years. Based on experience, after the countless dinners, the sweet gifts and surprises, and getting-to-know-each other part, a.k.a. dating, when you get into that point when you start sharing your life with another person, it’s a completely different story. Entering a relationship is an easier task than staying in the relationship and making it work.
I’m not a perfect lover. No one is. But the journey that I’ve been through with those four people taught me a lot of things and I’m proud to say that I’m a better lover/person now. Having said that, I wanna share these tips on how to make your relationship work for the long-term.
Communicate. As time pass by, couples often speak to each other less and less. There are a lot of factors, work, school, family, personal space, and other things. Having said that, never assume that your “baby” knows what you want. If you have unhappy, sad, or any sort of feeling, discuss it! Keeping emotions tucked away never helps. Sabi nga ni Neyo, “never go to bed mad”. Speak it out. You’re “baby” did not fall in love with a robot.
Be appreciative. Once you’re seeing someone very often, for some, living with them, it is easy to take them for granted or forget all the great things that got you together in the first place. The trick is if your “sweetheart” did something nice for you, don’t forget to let them know that you appreciate it. Most of the time, couples talk to each other in order to complain so always remember to make note of the positive as well. You’re “sweetheart” will feel good. Swear!
Continue to do your best. Oh yeah, oh yeah, oh yeah! So you now have bragging rights that you got your “honey” and you don’t have to impress her/him anymore. NOT TRUE!!! Remember, there are a lot of great people out there that could easily lure your “honey” away from you. Tandaan, nothing is certain. That’s one of the biggest lessons I’ve learned. There is no reason to stop trying just because you’re together now. Just continue to be the great person you were when you first met. “Consistency is always the key”.
Give each other space. You and your “habibi” are two separate individuals, both different in a lot of ways. Just because he/she chose you doesn’t mean that its now gonna be “Me & You’s World” already. Remember, your “habibi” has hobbies to do, friends to meet from time to time, personal activities to accomplish, family to spend time with, and other things that does not require YOU, and vice versa. Let your “habibi” do them, do yours, and at the end of the day, talk about it. With this, you don’t make your “habibi” feel annoyed, also you display a good trusting attitude.
Stay active. I just realized this kanina and I hate to say this… but if you were an active fit person when you met your partner, you should continue to be active and fit. Hmmm, a lot of you might say that “looks aren’t everything”, but if your partner went into a relationship with someone who went to the gym three times a week (ehem), its kinda like a false advertising if you’ll show him/her that now, you like staying on the couch munching on goodies more. Also, its showing your partner that you care and love your health and body.
Stay romantic. You aren’t just friends or buddies that can do anything plain and blah! Yes, you may do the things that you did when you were still dating like going to the movies, having dinner, shopping together, but make sure that you put a little spice on it from now on. Suprise your “mahal” with a dinner for two from time to time, watch movies on specialty cinemas which has a “lover’s couch”, when shopping, give your partner something cute just because. And above all, always remember to have sex. Alam mo, no one is going to make your relationship alive but you!
Say “I Love You”. Why? simply because, and I know you’ll agree with me, everyone likes to hear that someone loves them. So say it, and say it often. Action speaks louder than words, its true. But it certainly wouldn’t hurt to go the extra mile and let them know verbally. You’ll never know, it might be the last time that they’ll hear it from you. Again, nothing is certain.